Love Thy Own Heart

In my forty-five years on this earth, I have understood that everything in my life is timely. February is Heart Health Awareness month, adequately aligned with Valentine's Day, the day of love!

In late December, I learned that my mother needed a coronary artery bypass graft or CABG (hers included two major vessels or a double bypass) secondary to severe arteriosclerosis or blockage in the arteries. I traveled to my home state in early January to be with her the week of the surgery. As a nurse, I am used to taking care of patients during their time of need, but when it is your family member- it hits a lot closer to home....literally! Watching my mother, who I view with strength and robust energy, was an experience that gave me a new perspective on many aspects of my life.

For starters, it allowed me to function in a new role as my mother's caretaker, which I had convinced myself that I would not need to do for years to come, given her young age of sixty-five. Secondly, it allowed my mother to see me in a professional role as a caretaker or nurse as we navigated her post-surgical care to home care. For a week, I was more than just her "daughter." I was the one who knew what she needed, so I annoyed the heck out of her by playing with her hair (her most beloved feature) and trying to wake her up to extubate after surgery; her communicator of medical terminology within the hospital and out of the hospital sending updates to "Team Nancy," my daily translations from medical jargon to layman's terms to those asking how she was, her motivator for all things including pain control, breathing exercises to prevent pneumonia, eating nutritious meals, and walking in the halls. But my least favorite job was speaking up and advocating when a prolonged effort to receive her LifeVest, a wearable defibrillator, was delaying her discharge home. I was not going home with her as I was heading back to my home and family and starting a new semester of graduate school, and having the LifeVest felt like an essential protective measure in her going home.

But most importantly, caring for my mother after heart surgery versus other patients made it palpably personal. Personal meaning this is genetic. Meaning this is likely to happen to me. Before the surgery, I prepared myself emotionally and mentally for the week as much as I could, and during the time I was not with my mother, I was alone in my hotel room. I logically knew how vital this time would be for personal reflection, meditation, and connection to my emotions. Still, until you are walking it, you really can't feel it. There were a lot of self-monologues about going forward in my life with lifestyle changes I know I need to make, perimenopause that I am experiencing, and balancing my life in meaningful ways. My mother has done very well after surgery and is progressing nicely, rebalancing her life stressors and lifestyle modifications. Believe it or not, a cardiac rehab is a good place for her to balance a life of wholeness- physically, mentally, and emotionally. Having others who have gone through what she has, is an excellent place for support and motivates her to continue to get stronger and healthier. She also has a complete support system with family and friends.

Shortly after my return home, my Doctorate of Nurse Practitioner classmates were assessing me during our cardiac assessment and found an audible murmur. That week, I got into a cardiologist who confirmed a mitral valve heart murmur rated 2/6. While waiting to be seen that week, I was more in tune with my body. The more my body rested, the more I realized that I had been having palpitations but had ironically developed the incredible ability to ignore them! The cardiologist reassured me that a 2/6 was not significant to worry about and that it could go either way- getting better or getting worse, so to pay attention more and let him know if it worsened. After revealing my mother's recent bypass surgery, he was more concerned about my vascular health.

So, appropriately, this year's Valentine's gift to myself is an echocardiogram or ECHO and coronary calcium scan, and I will be able to enjoy this gift all month long! It's all about perspective, right? Last week I received my ECHO, an ultrasound of my heart. The ultrasound technologist checked the structure of my heart and the vessels and analyzed how the blood pumps in, out, and around my heart chambers. The cardiologist then gets the results to review. Next week, I have my coronary calcium scan, which will screen my heart using computerized tomography or CT to detect any calcium deposits in the coronary arteries of my heart. A higher coronary calcium score will suggest I have a higher chance of significant narrowing in the coronary arteries or arteriosclerosis (like my mother) and a higher risk of future heart attack leading to heart failure. In March, I will have my follow-up with my cardiologist to review both studies.

To be completely vulnerable feels a little scary. Honestly, when I walk into my cardiologist's office, the youngest person in the waiting room, it feels like I don't belong. But after seeing my mom endure an arduous surgical procedure, it also feels like an incredible gift and opportunity to love my heart proactively. What better gift could I receive during a month meant explicitly for heart health and love? As a result, I have plans to live a long, healthy life for my five kids, my loving husband (who has already gifted me with flowers on my bedside the day before Valentine's day and requests to sit beside me during my cardiac procedures because he also loves my heart), and as a future practitioner who plans to specialize in proactive health care for my patients someday.

During this month, I challenge every living being to love thy own heart in non-mainstream ways; dinner, chocolates, and flowers are always a bonus. And it doesn't have to be an ECHO or coronary calcium screen. One thing I have learned as a life coach is that the more change a person needs, the smaller the action steps need to be. What I have learned through this process is that I have the power to continue to love my own heart through my future choices in diet and lifestyle changes; this is a message of empowerment. In addition, as I age, I can have better health results as I make these small changes. The good news is that each one of us has this same power. This can mean eating one more vegetable per day, taking a walk every day, meditation before you wake up, breathing exercises to decrease stress, or any other simple measure that will increase the strength and endurance of your heart for wellness. When it comes to love, the little things matter the most! When we care for our hearts first, it allows us to also care for the ones we love- hopefully for much longer. And this is the greatest love we can offer first to ourselves and then to others.